Inside the boat was nothing like I ever experienced. Once through the hatch, which is always open day and night, there is the main area with a central navigation table and one bunk on each side. Everything was minimal. My bunk was in another area aft. I had to squeeze through a hole in the bulkhead to access it and could only remain sited since it was below the deck and on top of a massive water ballast tank.
The fog cleared a bit towards the end of the afternoon and it was time for dinner. Still on deck we ate pasta with big cheese chunks and it felt really good. With my belly warm it was time for me to go inside and take a 4h rest. Seasickness was already affecting me and my mind was already dominated by fear but still I was excited for taking on my duties later and doing my best.
I was suddenly awaken from my light nap. I couldn’t get much sleep. It felt like an amount of water was inside the boat sloshing just beneath my bunk and everywhere. There was also a shhh continuous sound of the water moving quickly through the hull and an occasional banging of a wave not to mention the jerky movements of the boat. I put on the boots, jacket and head torch.
On deck it was a glorious night with a shinning moon. The fog had gone and the wind had decreased. We were crossing the Traffic Separation Scheme so had to keep a good look out and a eye on the AIS. The skipper decided to take a reef out of the main sail and I had the chance to work on the grinder and rope locks. The deck was a mess of ropes so I started coiling them. Oh boy, in the end I was feeling completely seasick and throwing up soon seemed unavoidable. I let my mates know I was going to throw up and head to the transom and try to justify it with the coiling of the ropes while using my head torch. Spent the next 2h fighting the urge to throw up while watching the lights of huge ships speeding past us but at least had the chance to helm a bit and get my mind occupied
Second day woke up in the morning to a sunny day for my next shift. We were mostly sailing with auto pilot so there was not much to do. Around us only the immense blue ocean as far as the eye could reach. Was hungry and dehydrated. Was able to eat an apple and drink some water but soon threw all up again and again and again despite the sea being almost flat. Highlight of the day was seeing the white sails of another yacht in the very distance.
I tried to sleep with not much success through the afternoon. Finally took some pills for the seasickness and slept on the deck almost until dinner time. My mates said I could rest that night. Next morning I try to go out on deck but throw up again and go back inside. I was miserable. Dehydrated and hungry with nothing to throw up on my stomach. I think it was a huge mistake to come on this voyage. I was paralyzed on my bunk. I was not made to be at sea and here I was in the middle of its vastness far away from land than ever before. I was doomed.
I completely lost sense of time and wondered how I was still alive drinking almost zero water for so long time. Lying in my bunk the wind increases and the bow climbs the waves and falls in the void between them. We are going upwind sailing off of Cape Finisterra I assume. I get up only to throw up again. The shakes and noises of the boat when it lands on the trough of the waves are so violent sometimes they wake me up and it feels like the boat is going to break. I was able to eat a sandwich for dinner and sometimes I made an effort and sip a bit of a bottle of orange juice next to me. I get more sleep for the night and wake up a few times contemplating the cabin illuminated by the orange and green lights of the navigation displays.